The end of an era

I stopped wearing nursing specific clothes a while ago. We are still nursing. (At 3 and a bit, B seems to have no desire to give up and I’m not trying either way.) I don’t need to feed him during the day usually, and I stopped pumping when he turned 2, so I was thankful when the requirement to wear boob-accessible clothing was over.

A while ago, I did an entire Konmari of my wardrobe, so I put all of the maternity / nursing clothes into an old suitcase. I thought I should donate the clothes to charity – I took another load to the clothing bank – but then I thought I should donate the nursing ones to someone who’d at least use them for nursing. Nursing clothes are pretty expensive and mine still had plenty of life left in them. (And I didn’t have the heart to try and sell them.)

I’d amassed quite a collection. We breastfed since birth so we’ve been going for over three years. (I never thought I’d be one of those – but it turns out through no effort on my part, I am!) I was never that comfortable with flopping a boob out in public so I had lots of lift-the-flap and discreet nursing clothes, as well as a load of maternity gear I wore just for one pregnancy. Also I work in an office environment and went back to work after four months so I had a load of quite formal dresses as well as a lot of casual tees and vests that were breastfeeding/pumping accessible. It was enough for an entire maternity and nursing wardrobe for someone.

It was quite emotional to think about saying goodbye to that stage of our life. After our struggle to have a baby, and all the trouble with infertility, IVF and subsequent miscarriage, breastfeeding for me was the one thing that my body actually managed to do right. So I felt a bit strange to say goodbye to that pile of clothes, that wardrobe I thought I’d never have… and the case just sat around for a while.

Eventually last week I got tired of seeing the case sitting there. (My Konmari level is still Extreme Novice, but she has at least infiltrated my psyche to the point that those areas I’ve Konmari’d now bug me when they’re cluttered!)

So I posted on a local breastfeeding group that I had a maternity / nursing wardrobe to give away and to DM me if anyone wanted it.

Someone messaged me straight away and we arranged for her to pick it up last night. I was a little concerned because I wanted my clothes to go to someone who would use them and who needed them. But obviously when you offer something for free then you have no control over what someone does with them or who the first person to message will be.

Last night a lady turned up to collect the clothes. And I really couldn’t have picked a nicer person. She’s a nurse and I have so much admiration for anyone who can do that job. It is a really tough job and they don’t get enough thanks for the work they do.

We talked about breastfeeding and how she was struggling a bit and I assured her it would get easier, and also to hit me up if she needed any support. She couldn’t believe that I was giving away all the clothes and the suitcase for free. But I just wanted them to go to someone who needed them. Of course I had no control over who it was, and I’d have given it to anyone who asked… It was nice that it was someone who needed them.

She had even brought a box of strawberries for B, which was so sweet because he loves strawberries and I hadn’t asked for anything. I just wanted someone to be able to use them rather than them go to a charity shop and someone not understand why all the clothes had boob holes in them!

Giving stuff away is a strange feeling because you don’t know who it might be. A local friend gave away a tv stand recently only to see it advertised for sale with a tv! So it’s always a risk when you give something away, and you have to be okay with thanking it for its service and letting it go (as Marie Kondo would say!).

I was so glad that these clothes that had accompanied us on our nursing journey are going to accompany another mama and baby on theirs.

My heart feels a little lighter now.