Reblog: Myka Stauffer: An Adoption Fantasy Unraveled

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If you’ve followed my blog for a while (inc my previous iteration https://zerotozygote.wordpress.com) you’ll know that I was adopted as a baby. And so the stories coming out about an influencer “rehoming” her adopted son were pretty horrifying to read this week.

I hope you will read this excellent piece by Red Thread Broken that examines the reasons why this is such a travesty.

If you felt uncomfortable or outraged reading about the Myka Stauffer adoption case, here’s why: The unique factor about Myka Stauffer is the …

Myka Stauffer: An Adoption Fantasy Unraveled

12 Comments Add yours

  1. Hufflestitch says:

    This says everything I was thinking when I read the story. I am sending this article to anyone who tries to defend her.

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    1. Nara says:

      As an international adoptee I am disgusted by this story. My parents had problems with both me and my adopted sibling growing up. They weren’t equipped to understand the complexities of adoption trauma or racism. But not once did they give up on us. And guess what, we are perfectly normal (ish!) functioning adults! And we have a great relationship. I find this whole story abhorrent.

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      1. Hufflestitch says:

        The way she responds to his meltdowns in few videos means she is not practicing therapeutic or trauma informed parenting, nor responsive or gentle parenting. She got rid of him rather than learn. I hope Huxley is getting all the hugs and help he needs 😭

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      2. Nara says:

        They literally duct taped his hand so he couldn’t suck his thumb. That is appalling. Child abuse. He will be better off without them, but I’m so sad for him regardless.

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      3. Hufflestitch says:

        I just read about the duct tape thing… that is awful!!! That poor baby 😭 I cannot imagine taking away a stim for someone who has autism. That is incredibly cruel and unhelpful.

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      4. Nara says:

        It’s not even necessarily an autism thing, it’s a common child comfort and for a child who has undergone trauma and separation, it’s especially cruel.

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      5. Hufflestitch says:

        Agreed! It is why my 3.5yr old still has his dummy to sleep. He’ll stop when he’s ready, whether that is tomorrow or never 🤷‍♀️

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      6. Nara says:

        Mine still has a boob! 😂 I find it so strange and sad how people want to take away sources of comfort from children.

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  2. That whole story disgusted me. Thank you for sharing this article.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nara says:

      It’s really triggering for adoptees! Such a horrible story especially as they now don’t know what happened to him.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t remember this post from your former site and I am sure I wouldn’t forget something as awful as this. My hackles were up from the first sentence about their divine reasons for adopting in the first place. Inspired by Scripture. Right. I still believe the best reason to adopt is the (seemingly) egotistical one: I want kids. I want a family. I want to be a mom. If you succeed in adopting, you then see the child as a gift and never go down the road of “look at me and how cool I am for taking in an orphan” or other such BS.
    The other part that killed me was the commercialization. I have blogged my adoption stories, but never with the intention of making money off of it. I also always asked my daughters if it was okay before I posted.
    I completely understand you, Nara, if this enrages you. And from everything you have written, I bet it enrages your adoptive parents too.

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